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Values find their expression in terms of security, love, honesty, honor, loyalty, reliability, responsibility, etc. They are the foundation of our behaviors and are inner motivators. If you want to change your behavior, but have values that contradict the desired behavior, you will not succeed. You will not be able to maintain your new behavior for long. Only if your values support your behavior will you be able to change your life permanently. Values usually emerge as abstract nominalizations. They are of paramount importance, not only to individuals, but to businesses and society as well. Values are the driving force and orientation for our behavior and serve as criteria for the subsequent evaluation or assessment of our actions. Values constitute an ideal frame of reference that guides our activities and evaluations and guides us to achieve the desired results. They must be experienced and "negotiated" in a concrete frame of interaction, because they form the basis for our judgments about what makes life worth living. Everyone uses their personal values for making progress towards their goals and results. A sense of personal contentment and wholeness results in a match between current behavior and personal values. The people you love or are friends with, the way you educate your children, the political direction you support, how you do your work, the clothes you wear, the foods you consume are determined by the individual values that you claim for yourself.
Overview
Definition: Usually formulated as abstract nominalizations, values are of paramount importance for individuals, companies and society. Values are the driving force and orientation for our behaviour, and serve as criteria for retrospectively assessing or judging our actions. Values constitute an ideal frame of reference that guides our activities and assessments and orients us towards achieving the desired results. They must be experienced and "negotiated" in a concrete framework of interaction, because they form the basis for our judgements about what makes life worth living.
Every person uses their personal values to move towards their goals and results. The feeling of personal satisfaction and wholeness results from a match between current behaviour and personal values. The people you love or are friends with, the way you (would) raise your children, the political direction you support, the way you do your work, the clothes you wear, the food you eat - all this is determined by the individual values you claim for yourself.
Social values: Basic values on which a society is built (standards). Examples: Security, freedom, justice, equality and progress
Ethical values: Everyone has their own ethical values by which they act and evaluate their environment.Examples: success, respect, honesty, health
With regard to the motivational factors, they can be classified as follows:
Besides ethics, values are also an important aspect in sociology, pedagogy, psychology and theology. Values are often not rational, but rather emotional, compulsive, aesthetic, moral or religious. With the help of values we judge what is good/bad, pleasant/unpleasant, true/false, beautiful/ugly or appropriate/inappropriate.
Since values are very personal, strongly emotional orientation principles and motivators and include our beliefs, the same developmental periods apply to their development as to the acquisition of belief systems: The period of "unconscious modelling" through introjection and identification with the immediate educators is followed by a period of extra-familial socialisation in school, the peer group and the workplace; finally, values can also be integrated through conscious modelling.
Sources of the development of our values are: our family of origin, our friends, the community in which we grow up, social institutions (school, church, associations etc.), the working environment and the economic, social and political conditions. Values are thus strongly linked to our identity and our beliefs and attitudes.
values are the most unconscious parts of our personality. Values are principles, standards or qualities that are accepted by individuals or a group as valuable or desirable.
values are closely related to the beliefs, attitudes and meta-programs of the individual person. The terms: honour, responsibility, friendship, love, creativity, etc. can be values and criteria that serve a person as orientation patterns and sorting principles of the circumstances and activities in any context. Perceived facts and actions are sorted out by our five senses and personal activities are directed towards achieving the desired values. Different people in a community, institution, or company may have different values and criteria. Belief in certain things can also be expressed in the form of values. For example, belief in religion or a particular god can also be a value.
Examining one's own values and recognizing which values are most important to oneself helps make life more valuable. It explains many a conflict, but also many decisions and needs. Clarifying values in a partnership can provide a significant added value at the beginning of a new relationship and make everyday life even better. The clarity of one's values and the clarity of values in the relationship are a very strong foundation.
People, social relationships, time, place, activities, nature or conditions are of different importance at different times and in different periods of life: e.g. it can be assumed that a change of values and assessment criteria takes place when we get married or have a child.
It is quite natural that conflicts of values arise in different life situations and through changes. While these can be stimulating and interesting, sometimes they just block you. Neuro-Linguistic Programming provides the professional communicator with different methods for identifying and changing a hierarchy of personal and conflictual values.
Decision making is based on values and systems and is usually unconscious. For the attentive communicator, however, to listen to the use of the modal operators of necessity:
Depending on the context and the desired result, values and criteria can conflict, e.g. if different values and criteria are to be superordinated or subordinated to others. e.g. "I need to take more care of my health and relax more" vs. "It is important for me to finish this work by the end of the month".
Values and criteria for the individual can be found out by observing the nominalizations used or by asking simple questions like:
(Alternatively, or in addition to 1 and 2, you could also ask, "How do you spend your time?" "What do you spend your money on?" "What do you invest energy in?" The more precisely these questions are answered, the more you know the real preferences, and thus indirectly, about the values that guide your actions. That what a person consciously knows about his values will always be a hopeless mix of rationalization, idealized self-image and some true self-observations).
Discover your own hierarchy of values. What is important to you in life? Which words play the most important role for you? You can formulate your values freely. The list below should give you some food for thought.
In order to make the ranking of values clearer for you, I will show you how to put them in order of importance with an example. This is just an example, you determine your values all alone!
The values could be: passion, imagination, freedom, development, adventure, success and health.
Now I wonder what value is more important to me. Is passion or imagination more important to me? Passion. Is passion more important than freedom? Yes. What is more important: passion or development?... So, I compare all the values in turn with passion. If there is no value more important than passion, then passion comes first. If there is a value that is more important, it is preferred and compared to all others. If, for example, success is more important than passion, success becomes number one. Of course, I no longer need to compare success with imagination, because imagination was less important than passion, and in turn less important than success. So, I just ask: is success more important than health? Yes. Success is number one. Is passion more important than health? Yes. This makes passion the number 2 and so on. If you do that consistently, you will very quickly be able to rank your highest values.
At some points you may find it difficult to rank one value over another. Example: Is freedom more important to me or adventure? When I experience adventure, I feel free; without freedom, I cannot experience adventures. Suggestion: If you get stuck, ask yourself, "What does freedom and adventure mean to me?" Freedom could mean, doing or not doing what you want. Adventure could mean tackling exciting challenges. Now you can better compare the two: What is more important to me: To be able to do, or not do, what I want, or to master exciting challenges? Mastering exciting challenges… So, adventure is therefore a higher value. If you still cannot make a clear distinction despite defining them, then ask yourself: "What would happen if one of the two values went missing?" Could I imagine a life without adventure? It would be boring, I would have no energy and would have little incentive. How about if I had no freedom? I would be dependent. Is it worse to be dependent or without energy? Without energy. This makes adventure more important than freedom. Would I rather have no freedom, but adventure? Or is it more pleasant to give up the adventures and have freedom for it?
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Now go through your list again and explore what these values mean to you. Ask yourself: What does love/success/passion mean… for me? Example: For me, love means going through thick and thin with someone else. What does it mean for you to go through thick and thin with someone else? To be able to trust the other. Go ahead and ask further questions, because often there is some meaning for us in a word completely different than another person would suspect.
Many people have so-called value conflicts in their lives. They want to move forward in their careers, increase their quality of life, become more socially engaged and at the same time spend many weeks on vacation, lying in the sun and having time for other things. This can create value conflicts. To a certain extent, these value conflicts also belong to our lives. They make our life attractive, varied and exciting. But when the conflicts gain the upper hand, we are incongruent, i.e., we are not completely committed to our goals and the inner conflict is expressed in our behavior. Check your list of values for such value conflicts or potential conflict. First write down your most important values and then consider whether conflicts of any kind exist:
Life rules describe what requirements must be met for a cause or event to live up to our values. What needs to happen so that we feel a certain feeling? What needs to happen to make you feel happy? Do you have to earn a million dollars and drive a fancy car before you feel happy, or is it enough for a few sunbeams to tickle your face? What must happen to make you feel annoyed? Is it enough, if you are in a hurry and must wait at a red light, or does someone have to drive into your car at full speed and then make a run for it? You've probably noticed, these questions are asking you to think about your life's rules. Regarding life rules, I distinguish between two types. The one tells us what conditions must be fulfilled in order for a certain feeling to be triggered in us, the other tells us what we need to do and what we want to do.
What must happen for you to have a certain feeling?
What must I do so that ... happens? What should I do so that ... happens? Write down your own life rules by answering the following question: What are your most important rules of life?
Maybe you can also develop something like an ethical code from your rules of life that sets the standard for your quality of life. Large companies develop so-called mission statements for their company. You can do the same with your own life. Design your principles for a new and happier life.
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